Taking The Lessons Of Life

TAKING THE LESSONS OF LIFE

I am Mother!

Aysel worked at the same workplace with her beloved son, the apple of her eye. The mother and son were on their way to the market at the end of their shift. Ahmet usually skipped work, using his tiredness as an excuse. His beloved mother did not spare her child and took on all kinds of household chores. In response to the reactions from the neighborhood, she would say, “I am a mother! I can't spare my child...” Her child was already separated from his father, was she going to make life difficult for him?

They were on their way home after work again. Ahmet seemed to want to say something to his mother. He was slurring his words, unable to open up. When Mrs. Aysel noticed this, she asked, “What happened, son?” Ahmet told her that there was a girl he had liked for a long time. He said that he finally convinced her and they started dating. “I love her very much mom, if you could meet her, I believe you would love her too!” he said.

Mrs. Aysel had noticed changes in her son for a while, but she could not figure out why. When she saw him jumping up and down with happiness when he talked about her, she said, “Of course I will, son! You love her, but don't I?” 

Meeting Excitement

Ahmet had made a program to introduce his girlfriend to his mother. It was best to meet her while she was out shopping. After a brief introduction, they entered the store together. As Mrs. Aysel took the shopping cart, she smiled slightly and said to herself, “Now I realize what changed our son.”

Mrs. Aysel took a glance at the bride-to-be. The girl was not that beautiful, but her looks, smile and friendliness were very pleasing to Mrs. Aysel. During the shopping, Ahmet said, “We'll sit somewhere on the way out and have a chat. Let me buy you a coffee.” It was the first time Mrs. Aysel heard this sentence from her son.

Usually when they went out, his mother paid, even though they both worked. Now his son had offered to buy her something. She just confirmed nodding without making a sound.

After passing the grocery section, they approached the detergent section. At this point, Ahmet's girlfriend asked for some scented soaps and she heard Ahmet say, “Okay, let's buy some.” without thinking. Mrs. Aysel started to think inside again; “I was doing a thousand and one somersaults to make my son buy something, but how is it that someone he has just met can make him do what he says in two minutes?”

Ahmet couldn't take his eyes off his girlfriend. He carried her things and her bag so that they would not bother her. How had Ahmet come to care so little for his mother and so much for this girl?

As Mrs. Aysel saw the relationship between her son and his girlfriend, she realized where she had gone wrong. After passing the detergent aisle, they came to a section where household goods were sold. This time she had asked for one of the small vanity mirrors and her son had bought it without making a sound. Finally, they approached the checkout. Ahmet took his girlfriend's selections from her and said, “Let's keep these separate, I'll pay for them.”

Mrs. Aysel was watching her son's gentlemanly behavior with astonishment. She was torn between jealousy and gratitude.

What have you ever done for me?

When they got home, Ahmet did his best to make his girlfriend comfortable. He carried all the bags to the kitchen in front of her. She had carried the bags herself for years and had never heard her ex-husband or Ahmet ask her, “Are you tired, mom?”

The Experiential Design Teaching states: “One values what one pays for in this life.”

Nothing we have without effort is valuableto us.

Aysel couldn't help but get a little annoyed with the girl. “She both chooses things and makes my son buy them. If it were us, we wouldn't be able to ask for anything, but girls of today? Look at her, how easily she can demand.” While thinking about these things, she also realized an important fact about herself. Throughout her life, she had never asked for anything from either her husband or her children. She did not ask for anything while covering the expenses of the house she lived in with her son. She had never asked for anything when she paid off her husband's debts. She had done many things that her husband should have done and she had never asked for anything. Aysel had normalized not asking for anything from anyone. The more she didn't ask for anything from people, the more she felt ingratitude and made those around her unappreciative. On top of that, they paid the bill with the sentence, “What did you ever do for me?”

Of course, there were times when she asked for something. When she had had enough, she would say “I am a human being, a mother gave birth to me, what's wrong with a little support!” but no one would take her request seriously. Aysel thought that this situation was caused by others and constantly blamed her surroundings. She used to say that the people around her were unfaithful. Whoever was in a difficult situation would call her, but not even her closest ones would be there for her in her time of need. 

Taking Life's Lessons

Now this new girl had taught her a very good lesson. She had realized that the problem was not with the outside world, but with herself. Value was something that was earned, not received. One really valued what one worked for.

With this incident, the veil was lifted from Mrs. Aysel's eyes. She took a journey into the past. What were the things she criticized? She realized that there were things she should have done but did not do.

It turns out that life teaches something at every moment to those who know how to see. As long as we can open our doors to learning. For Ms. Aysel, the ship of life had taken a completely different route and she had learned her lesson. The communication of this young girl, who was still a stranger, with her son taught her the lesson of her life.   

Experiential Design Teaching is a science of reality that shapes the future with past experiences. It teaches the methods that individuals need to solve their problems and reach their goals.

It offers strategies to people who want to be happy and successful with the programs "Who is Who", "Mastery in Relationship" and "Success Psychology".

“What can "one" person matter among billions of people?

Ask that “one” person for the answer!”

 

Yahya Hamurcu